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the surrounding light

i don't know what to do...

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black and white

i don't know what to do...

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adrien brody

       What happens when you're trying so hard to fix things that when you realize that it's not working, you're too exhausted to think of anything else?

       I can't figure out what to do. I've been trying and trying and I know - I think - he has too, but nothing's working. We're not working. I'm not sure what it is. For most of the five months we've been together, things were fine. And then they just started changing. We fight a lot, and sometimes it works out quickly, sometimes it doesn't - but never in a "fixed" way; it's more that one of us gives in and says "forget it." Usually it's both of us, to some extent. I care about him a lot - more than I ever have about anyone else - but I can't see this going on much longer. I cry far too much over it all, and sometimes - this is what scares me the most - I have moments where I just stop caring about what will happen. It's like without wanting to, I'm already giving up.

       So should I keep trying? Or is it time to try and let go? I don't know how much longer I can try to fix it. And I don't want to hurt him by dragging it out. I wish I had more experience in this...

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